Tumults

I know, I know.... I've been rather neglectful around here. I have excuses, loads actually, but I'm sure you wouldn't be very interested in them. Simply put, since last fall, my life has seemed a bit tumultuous. We all have so much going on in our lives, each of us searching for peace, quiet, and balance somewhere between the lines. I know how to do it,I just haven't been able to get there; mainly with time being the issue. I generally find myself coming back to this one idea, over and over again. Most of the time (hehe), there just seem like there is enough of it. So, in the last month, I quit one of my jobs. I decided it was more draining than it was worth for the exchange in currency, it was putting me in an unhealthy environment for myself, and most importantly: I dreaded going.

Excuse me before I start to sound rather cliche, but I began reflecting, and actually, most often I was too tired and too emotional to even have time to reflect. I stood back and observed myself; my thoughts, my behaviors, my patterns, and ultimately didn't like what I saw. I began to think of the larger scope of things... this one life (or maybe more deepening on your beliefs) that we are given to do with what we want. Of course we have to pay attention to the fact that we don't have ultimate control over everything, but what we do have is enough. I don't want to waste anymore of it doing what I don't love, or even don't like. Hard work I'm sure lies ahead... but when that work starts to be the kind that feels right, feels invigorating, and fuels your heart.... you can be sure you are on the right path.

So why all of this blabbering you may ask?? Well for one, I want to be in this space more often. This is truly something I love to do, sharing with my few readers what I'm creating, what I'm feeling, how we are all navigating this wondrous life. And secondly, all of this has made me even more certain that while I've had a bit of a rough patch here and there (and hell, who doesn't??) I love to be engaged with food. Healthy food. Beautiful food. Celebratory food. With family and friends, sitting at a cafe by my lonesome, beckoning back to my days in France, sharing with everyone the idea tat hell, if we have to do it anyway, lets make it awesome. Lets eat and drink, and take the time to actually notice we are doing it; and maybe, just maybe, enjoy it.

All of this makes me want to go, "yay." Enough said.

So I have a simple recipe for you today. A recipe for thoughtfulness and awareness. Take 15 minutes. Take your favorite drink and maybe a tiny treat. Sit with yourself some place that feels wonderful, that makes you feel great and cozy and content. And just eat and drink. Concentrate on those flavors, those moments, for that is all we have for right now. The more we can live like that, well, the rest will just fall into place a little easier. And who doesn't want to make things easier with a little cookie?

Have a super day everyone.

Spring... Its Sprung.

Ah, spring. It is the time of year when I feel most alive. The time when I wake up from what seems like a long winters nap, amidst more and more fresh produce at the farmers market, longer days and later sunsets... oh yes, a few extra winter pounds that smuggled themselves in there somehow. I always look back or look ahead to winter, trying to visualize warmth and coziness in front of the fireplace, roasted root vegetables, Christmas with family, and the exciting times of a new year. But, truth be told, the winter every year for me is a hard time. I feel less motivated, less alive. And I try to fight it. I try and fight it with optimism and baking and yoga. But, it just seems natural for my body to want to hibernate for a while... not do much of anything and eat more than my fair share of cookies.

But this is not winter my friends, and spring has finally shown its pretty little face. I feel as though my new year is ready to begin, as all seems bright and new, and myself refreshed. I wanted to share with you my next month long cleansing and rejuvenation plan. Sometimes my body yearns to be reset, and now is about that time! I try not to incorporate extreme ways into my lifestyle, so this detox of sorts is really just a gentle purging to make room for all the goodness that spring has to offer. So here's my little ol plan:

1. Diet. Not "to diet", but rather "my diet." I'm trying not to focus on what I am not going to eat but rather let the season give me all it has to offer and supplement with whole grains and minimal amounts of dairy and eggs. So that means tons of the freshest produce, whole grain rices/quinoas, and some yogurt/cottage cheese thrown in there too. So for the next month I'm saying goodbye to added sugars, breads, anything processed, and all meat. It is a very gentle cleanse of sorts, that seems right for me... right now. I am excited to reset my palate, enjoy the simplicity of food and appreciate and remember what its first and foremost function is: nourishment.

2. Mind. This winter has been somewhat of a whirlwind for me for several different reasons. I started baking professionally, which has always been something I have been interested in pursuing. I started a new and wonderful relationship. I started teaching baking. My dad relapsed from his cancer. I have continued with some of my own health struggles. Oh yes, and it has been the season when I feel most vulnerable, most fragile. So it has been an emotional time for me for good and bad, but it has left me feeling that I have less time with myself, less time to focus on me. I need and appreciate this time almost as much as anything else in my life. It brings me clarity and peace. It is my religion of sorts (other than peanut butter the great I guess) and my goal is to set aside time each day for mediation. It can be for five minutes or it could stretch for an hour .(doubt it, but hey it could happen!) Making time for myself is nonnegotiable in my daily adventures, so I am excited to have a place in my life for that again.

3. Body. Yoga for myself is a given. What is it that centers and calms your mind and body? But not just through exercise, I plan to care for my body and prepare it for the livelier months. Taking care of my skin by making homemade masks, taking baths, rubbing aloe on my predictable oven burns... Being kind and caring for your body. In short, putting more awareness into how I handle myself and my surroundings.

So folks, this is what I have so far. It is my first month long cleaning of sorts, and I am excited. I'm most excited to learn more about myself and how I will react to different challenges.... not to mention what will be a challenge, and what wont be. I will post some recipes, some findings, and I hope you might do your own version (however intense, however minimal) with me. Journeys with support always seem a bit more doable. Good luck and happy new year.

Song Pairing

"Years" by JBM.

This song reminds me of stretching in the morning and waking....little by little.

On Remembering Why

So, if you haven't guessed by the overuse of barley and spelt flours not to mention all these bizarre baking concoctions I've been up to.... I have a bit of inner hippie in me. And I boast it with joy. Don't get me wrong, I love hot showers, electric blankets, and cozy cashmere sweaters.... but there is another side to me that flourishes when I cook and bake. So bare with me here. Baking for me is not only about discovering an end result that inspires your taste buds, but it is about involving all of your senses; using your eyes to see how beautiful the process it, your touch to understand and nourish doughs in lieu of a leaden kitchen aid mixer. This idea that is baking has given so much to my life that I can't help but give it more and more attention as I grow into my person. So, as of late I have been trying to give more attention and focus into my passion, and wanted to share this little poem I came across awhile ago from one of my favorite cookbooks. I hope it inspires you, like me, to take time and experience your journey, whatever it may be, and realize the end result, like a piece of pie, is simply beautifully ephemeral and another journey awaits proceeding your last; all of which should be handled with care.

A Composite of Kitchen Necessities

Bringing food alive with your

loving presence.

To have compassion, to have respect

for fresh foods, for broken bowls,

for dirty napkins and little bugs.

To care of leftovers,

not saying, of that's alright, we have plenty

we can throw that away.

Because everything is saying love me,

have compassion, hold me gently.

Please hug me now and the

(we're really one, not two),

but don't get attached

(we're really two, not one).

The bowls and knives, the table, the teapot,

the leftovers, the molding vegetables,

the juicy fruit,

everything is asking this of you:

make full use,

take loving care

of me.

The cups, the glasses, the sponges,

the sticky honey jar,

all asking to fulfill.

Just to make deepest love all the time,

concentrating not on the food, but on yourself:

making your best effort to allow things

to fulfill their functions. In this way

everything is deliciously full

of warmth and kindness.

Music Pairing

"Rakhe Rakhan Har" by Aurora

I received a mix CD from a yoga teacher during Christmas and found this song on it. For some reason it always seems to bring peace and understanding to my day.

And We're Back!

Greetings strangers. I know, its been quite some time since Ive been to this space.... but I guess my writings and ramblings parallel my sanity... they are sometimes in and they are often out. Anywho, these past few months have been filled with so much new, so much wondrous-ness, and occasional overwhelming-ness, that I just haven't found the time to be here. I guess it has been more that I haven't found the right time. Every moment I meant to write or share, the words just never seemed to come, so I didn't push them. But, I have been baking....a lot.... and I can't wait to share with you some of my new favorites in coming posts.

One of the aspects that I love about baking during the winter is that it is almost forced time spent indoors next to your stove. Forced time to take the time to experience and feel the season through creating and feeding yourself and others. I find myself reaching for more ginger on those cold rainy days and comforting foods such as sweet potato biscuits, apple pandowdy, and handfuls of oats to boot. I love how food helps us experience each season, and when you live in California, allowing it to help create a faux atmosphere of a cozy winter via spices and root veggies when the sun is shining and there isn't a cloud in the sky.

So, I have a new recipe to share with you. One that I would never reach for if it weren't late fall or winter. Enter: the sweet potato biscuit. Warm right out of the oven with a pad of butter, being enjoyed wearing a chunky scarf swirled around your neck 4 times, rainy clouds as a backdrop (even if the closest thing you can find is wallpaper), and a cup of spicy tea following every bite. And scene.

Sweet Potato Biscuits

I have thus far only used bright orange sweet potatoes because I am in love with the beautiful orange buttery results. But, that being said, feel free to experiment with japanese sweet potatoes which are so flavorful and mellow in color. You can also skip a step by buying canned sweet potato, or heck even pumpkin, although the flavor just wouldn't be the same.

1 cup all purpose flour

1/2 cup spelt flour

1/4 cup whole wheat pastry flour

2 TB light brown sugar

2.5 tsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp baking soda

6 TB unsalted butter, chilled

3/4 cup pureed sweet potato

1/3 cup buttermilk

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees prepare your sweet potato for roasting. For 3/4 cups of puree you will probably need a medium size to large potato. Rinse and poke several times with a fork and then wrap in foil and stick it in the oven until very tender... about 45 minutes. After the root is done cooking you can scrape out the insides and mash with a fork or puree in a blender or food processor. Let cool.

Now for the dough. Sift and whisk all of the dry ingredients together. Using a pastry blender or fork or extremely chilly hands cut the butter in the dry ingredients until nothing but little bits resembling rice grains are left. Mix together the sweet potato and buttermilk in a separate bowl and add everything together. Try to handle the dough as little as possible. You want everything to come together, so if its a little sticky add some flour... if its a little dry add some milk. You'll get it. Knead the dough 5 or 6 times et viola... vous etes presque termine. Flatten out the dough on a floured surface so its about an inch thick. Cut biscuits with a round cutter or a jar works as well. Bake at 425 for about 20-25 minutes or until golden.

Music Pairing

"Truth" by Alexander

And again, whistleing just makes me happy. And so do sweet biscuits and cozy weather.

Oatmeal to Go

So the primary reason I opted not to call this one a cookie was, well... I worried it might deter you from eating it early in the morning. And I would never want to go and do that.

But really, this cookie delicious breakfast alternative to oatmeal is compact, simple, and even gets better as it sits around for a couple days. What more do you want? Really the only downside is that they disappear before I can get around to sampling them as they perfect during the following days.

I almost caught myself telling you how surprisingly good they taste because of all of the nutrient dense ingredients....but I guess I never really understood why people say that. All of the ingredients on their own are pridefully delicious... almond butter (yum) honey (yep) oats (also delicious) etc etc... that of course the end result would be nothing but. What does it matter that the components are whole and grainy? Well, I think it does matter actually, but it matters in a great way, not in the way that should prompt any sort of begrudging face quirks.

Anywho, enough ranting for now. I formulated this recipe after making some baked oatmeal and then figured why not take it a step further to cookie-esq form? Well I couldn't find a good enough reason not to, so I went ahead and did it. I know, I know...rebel. And what pairs better with fall than baking and oatmeal? Yes, I guess pumpkin, but who asked you anyhow?

Oatmeal to Go

If you can bear it, these delights improve dramatically if you let them sit for a day. Also, do not overcook! Just let them turn a little golden brown and remain a bit gooey inside. Just trust me here. Also, word of warning, if you are a diabetic-loving sugar addict, just don't bother. These are not overly sweet, although they are wholesomely delicious.

1/2 cup oats

2/3 cups almond meal (or simply stated ground almonds)

1/4 c wheat germ

1/2 cup oat or barley flour

1/4 c almond butter

1/4 cup honey

pinch of salt

1/2 tsp vanilla

1 tsp baking soda

2 eggs

dash of almond or soymilk

handful of raisins

Mix up oats, almond meal, wheat germ, oat and/or barley flour, and salt in a bowl. In a pan on the stove top, heat up the honey and almond butter over medium heat. It should be warm, and make sure it doesn't get hot enough to reach a boil. When heated a bit, take off the stove and mix in the baking soda. It will create a reaction slightly reminiscent of chemistry class, but not as impressive. In a separate bowl beat up the eggs and add the honey/almond butter mixture to the dry ingredients... along with the vanilla as well. Stir until it is all nice and combined, potentially having to add just a dash of soy or almond milk to make the dough a bit more wet. Stir in raisins.

Bake these puppies (now can anyone explain the etymology of that phrase?) for about 7 or 8 minutes, or just golden. The end result will still be a little gooey on the inside.... perfect to replicate oatmeal...but, to go! And please do enjoy in the morning.

Music Pairing

Ray LaMontangne "New York City's Killing Me"

Its the east coast fall that always prompted me to make, or at least long for, oatmeal. The chill in the air and the unexpected change of colors that the lacking trees in New York City were suppose to bequeath.... just delightful. And it just makes sense, speaking of the city, that these fall-y treats would be, alas, to go.

Chocolate Pear Cake

The first few weeks in my new place of residence, the Monterey Bay, I am becoming acquainted with the new job and the folk it brings along with it, the farmers markets, the yoga schedules, and most importantly the new (to me) oven.

After woefully under cooking a perfect batter of spelt zucchini bread, I optimistically set my sights on a brand new recette: Chocolate Pear Cake. A friend of one of the roomies came over one day, with freshly picked pears from her tree... and that was enough to make her my friend too. I usually lean more toward the apple camp than the pear, but heck... throw in a bit of chocolate and Ill eat mostly anything. So, welcome fall with pears and chocolate. It just seems wrong not to.

I brought it into my new job at the restaurant, trying to gain baker/cook approval. So if you care it is La Bicyclette in Carmel, CA approved. Whatever that means to you.

Chocolate Pear Cake

For this recipe I used some barley flour along with almond meal because I like the soft and nutty crumb that it produces for cakes. But, if you want, you can always substitute the barley for regular or white whole wheat flour. The almond meal is a keeper.... although hazelnut flour would not be a bad call...

4 oz butter, unsalted

1/2 cup sugar

4 eggs

4 oz dark chocolate

1/4 cup barley flour

1/4 cup white whole wheat flour

1/2 cup almond flour or meal

4 TB cocoa powder

1 1/4 tsp baking powder

pinch of salt

4 pears, halved and poached (origin: preferably from a neighbors tree)

Poaching:

Don't let this step deter you. C'est tres facil... easy peasy for you non-francophiles. Just bring 2-3 cups of water to a boil along with 1/2 cup of sugar. Throw in your halved pears, potentially having to add more water to cover them and let cook for about 20 minutes on medium heat or a low boil. When finished, they should be tender when pricked with a fork.

Caking:

Set the oven to 350 F. Again, my friendly European counterparts...google the conversion. Butter a 9 or 10 inch round pan. Next, melt the chocolate and set aside. (Note: you can melt the chocolate by bringing one small saucepan with water to a boil and placing a larger bowl on top of the pot with the chocolate. This will ensure that your chocolate wont burn during the melting process) En suite, sift all of your dry ingredients together (flours, salt, baking powder, coco powder). In a separate bowl beat the butter and sugar together. After a couple minutes and the mixture is nice and fluffy, add in one egg at a time...incorporating each once well before adding the next. Then stir in the melted chocolate mixture. Finalement, go ahead and stir in the flour mixture in two separate parts. Don't over stir... or rather until just combined.

Pour batter into prepared cake pan and arrange the pears on top of the batter in a nice fashion. Push them down a bit. It should take 30 to 40 minutes depending on your oven. Remember convection bakers, your oven is an overachiever so watch your cakes extra carefully and maybe turn down the temperature a bit. You don't want to over bake this cake... it should be moist.

Serve with some fresh whipped cream and cozy up to the fireplace you may or may not need in this transitional seasonal period. But still... you have to love chocolate, pears, and coziness. You just have to.

Music Pairing

Ray LaMontagne and the Pariah Dogs. "New York City's Killing Me"

Hes so fall-y. And I just love his husky voice. Its almost as though he means what hes a sayin. Which sometimes feels like a rare find.

Cozy Breakfast

My move to Monterey is swiftly becoming settled into the county where fall reigns year round.... or at least the morning time feels like it. We are welcomed by the perpetual AM cozy fog and the chilly damp air that can only be answered with warm cable knit socks, chai lattes, and fire places. And although I (and my renauds) love the heat, I also can't resist the feeling of a great fall.

I am still adjusting to the bizarre-ish hours of the restaurant life, eating either a rather early dinner or being pushed through a rushed plate late into the night sometimes not being hungry at all in the morning and other times tearing the cabinets open. This morning I woke up to the fog rolling in, yearning for something substantial to offset yesterday's time in the sun, greens, fruits, and bike riding with a warm and sturdy meal. Breakfast and cozy weather tells me two things: oatmeal and spices. So who the hell am I to argue?

Yesterday, perusing the Carmel Valley farmers market, I was called to some lovely carrots, just pulled from the ground, with the intention of making either carrot muffins with a strudel topping or a carrot cake loaf accompanied by (of course) cream cheese frosting. But this morning, I decided to forgo the two previous inclinations and fix myself a steaming bowl of carrot cake oatmeal. I always love when you can rationalize dessert for breakfast. Anywho... Spices. Check. Vanilla Soy. Check. Walnuts and Raisins. Double Check. It was my first bowl of the steaming stuff since last winter and it feels good to be back. Peter Rabbit and my childhood are mightily proud.

Carrot Cake Oatmeal

Serves 1 hungry gal

Everyone has their own favorite take on the glorious carrot cake. This oatmeal is made with pretty standard fare, and I don't think it needs a bit extra. It is soooo good. But, if you love your oatmeal with those extras, you will undoubtedly love your carrot cake oatmeal like that as well. Suggestions? Well, I've seen crushed pineapple, coconut, brown sugar wouldn't be a bad call, and maybe you could even mix in some cream cheese for the frosting effect? Might be gross, might be glorious. Let me know how it goes.




handful of rolled oats (I have rather large hands)
1 teaspoon cinnamon
pinch of wheat germ
1/4 cup water
1/4 cup grated carrot
1/4 cup walnuts
1/8 cup raisins
1/2 cup vanilla soymilk
1/2 teaspoon fresh ginger, grated
pinch of salt
honey, to top it off


Start with a small saucepan. Turn the stovetop onto a low setting and place the oats, cinnamon, and wheat germ in the pan to toast them. After about 1 minute you can add the water and carrots. I like to let this cook for about a minute. I dont really know why... I just do it. Then go ahead and add the rest of the ingredients (except the honey) and let cook for about 10 minutes on low, covered. When the oatmeal is finished, wither add more soymilk if you like it runnier or cook the goodness with the lid off and it will become thicker. Top with honey and enjoy!






Music Pairing


I curled up in my chair with cozy socks and oatmeal in tow, so Jose Gonzalez seemed like the right fit the start of my oatmeal and foggy mornings. If I may suggest "Save Your Day" for obvious, oatmeal superhero-esque capabilities.